Let It Go
by WinchesterGal2015
Summary: Dean and Sam go hunting, but when Sam is hurt badly and in a coma, Dean goes into a depression. Everyone tries to help him, but only one is able to and at what cost? (I do not own SPN)


**Let It Go**

**-The snow glows white on the mountain tonight,**

**Not a footprint to be seen-**

Sam and Dean were on a hunt in Maine. It was the middle of November and freezing cold. There was at least two feet of snow on the ground. They were supposed to go into the woods to find a Wendigo, light it on fire, and then leave quickly. Obviously since Sam was bleeding from a gash on the back of his head and three large scratches on his chest, things hadn't gone as planned.

Dean was bleeding as well he had gotten thrown and in the process a branch tore into his upper arm, and he had twisted his ankle. It was pretty bad, and he would need to disinfect his arm but Sam came first. He held Sam up with his good arm as he helped Sam hike down the mountain and to the impala. When he got Sam into the passenger's seat he instructed Sam to keep his eyes open. Dean got into the driver's seat and pressed the gas hard trying to get back to the hospital as fast as possible.

**-A kingdom of isolation,**

**And it looks like I'm the king..-**

When Dean finally managed to get to the hospital they got Sam on a gurney and rolled him away to the emergency room. Dean on the other hand was taken to a hospital room where stitched up his arm and gave him crutches to walk with. "So how did this happen?" The doctor asked once he finished wrapping Dean's foot with soft bandages.

"We were hunting, when a bear blindsided us." Dean said running his fingers through his hair nervously. "Will my brother be okay?" Dean asked.

"I'm not sure I haven't seen him. You'll have to talk with the doctor who treated him. Now, where were your guns or knives when this happened?" The doctor asked still trying to get the story.

"Look, if it's all the same, I'd like to go to my brother." Dean told him. The doctor sighed and nodded clearly thinking something was off about his story, but he didn't care. "Room?"

"A 528," the man replied.

"Thanks," Dean said as he grabbed the crutches and hopped out. He managed to get to Sam's room with not too much trouble, but his brother wasn't there looking up at him with a smile on his face like he half expected. Sam was in bed asleep, and he looked pale.

"Mr. Weston, may I talk with you outside?" The woman asked. She was a little older than Dean with silky black hair that ran to her upper back, and she had an hour glass shape, if it wasn't for the circumstances, Dean probably would've hit on her.

"Yeah, sure," Dean nodded.

"I'm afraid your brother's is in a coma." She says. "He's lost a lot of blood and has massive head trauma. We are still hopeful he'll wake up, but it is possible he may not." She gave a sympathetic look with a small sad smile.

Dean frowned this couldn't be happening. He couldn't be in this hospital with this woman telling him Sam may or not wake up with some fake ass sympathetic look on her face. It wasn't true and this wasn't real, but it is real and it is true. And all he could do was wait.

**-The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside,**

**Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried-**

Dean sat in Sam's room his head in his hands as he listened to the wind outside. It was blowing hard, and the snow was coming down even faster. There would probably be a blizzard tonight.

Dean felt a tear slide down his cheek as his eyes met Sam's pale body lying there in the hospital bed. "This is all my fault, Sam. I'm so sorry." Dean said latching onto his brother's hand. It was Dean's fault they were out here. He had been working Sam like crazy with no break. All he wanted to do was case after case, and he refused to talk about his time in hell even though it was clear it was bothering him every waking minute. Sam wanted to go down to Florida to deal with an angry spirit, but Dean didn't want to. Hell was still so fresh in his mind, and he couldn't take any heat at the moment. He hated the warmth, but he soon found out once he got here he hated the cold too. Maybe it was because, it reminded him of how he felt inside him. Empty. Cold. Nothingness. "But you can't leave me, Sammy, not yet, you can't go." Dean whispered squeezing Sam's hand harder and with his other hand he wiped at the tears on his face.

**-Don't let them in, don't let them see,**

**Be the good boy you always have to be,**

**Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know...-**

It had been a month, and still his brother wasn't awake. He remembers the first week of Sam staying in the coma; he would cry every night holding his brother's hand as he cried himself to sleep.

Dean remembered the second week he got about 5 phone calls each from Bobby, Rufus, Ash, Jo, and Ellen. He didn't pick up any of them. Bobby with the help of Rufus was able to finally track Dean down at the hospital. Bobby was pretty upset Dean hadn't called to let him know what was going on, and that Dean knew he was supposed to check in with him weekly to let Bobby know he was okay.

"But I'm not okay Bobby, not even close.." Dean said under his breath as he looked to the side a year running down his cheek.

That stopped Bobby mid rant. "He's gonna pull through, alright Dean? He's a fighter just remember that, okay?" Bobby told him putting a hand on his shoulder then pulling the man in for a hug. Dean hugged him back crying into his shoulder something Dean never did. After that at least one of them Bobby, Jo, or Ellen would come in and check on both him.

The second week Dean remembers the doctor coming in to explain to him it might be best to just let Sam go, after all Sam was only living because of his life support. "But there's still a chance he could wake up." Dean stated. The doctor nodded sighing sadly already knowing that, that mean the older would not let the younger go. After that discussion Dean hardly talked to anyone just the doctor when she came in and only to answer simple questions for Sam's sake.

The third week Dean stopped talking completely and had developed a bad habit of staring at the wall in Sam's room for hours on end. When his friends would come check on him he would only look up to make sure no harm was coming to Sam then resume staring at the wall. The fourth week was even worse, Dean stopped eating he refused to leave Sam's side. His food had to be brought to him by a nurse for him to eat at all and most of the time he would decline it. Only ever eating one meal a day, usually lunch, and the nurse always made sure to make his lunch huge like a three course meal.

**-Don't let them know,**

**Well, now they know,**

**Let it go, let it go!**

**Can't hold it back anymore,**

**Let it go, let it go!**

**Turn away and slam the door,**

**I don't care,**

**What they're going to say-**

On the 5th week on Wednesday Bobby and Ellen came. They'd had enough of this depression, it was time for Dean to climb out of this rut he had himself in.

"Dean honey, are you alright?" Ellen asked.

Dean looked up but said nothing. Confirming that she wasn't going to hurt Sam he looked at the wall again.

"How are you?"

Silence.

"Boy, don't you hear her talking to you?" Bobby asked. Dean looked at Bobby and as their eyes met Bobby's heart broke. Dean's eyes were empty of everything even pain, but considering how numb to everything he was he guessed that made sense.

"Dean, please, talk to us, we care about you. We only want the best for you, we'll get through this, together, I promise." Ellen said softly as she put her hand on top of the Dean's, the one connected with Sam's. Dean looked up at her his eyes filled with tears.

And for the first time, in two weeks, Dean spoke. "I can't do this without him." He hadn't spoke in so long it didn't feel like him talking. It was like he was listening to someone else. He didn't even recognize his voice.

"Do what? Hunt? We don't expect you to, Dean." Bobby told him, but he knew that wasn't what Dean was talking about at all. Everyone in the room did.

"Dean, you can't be considering..." Ellen trailed off. Dean looked away. He could hear her hiccup as tears started to come down her cheeks. That's when he felt the blow.

Dean fell out of the chair he'd been sitting in for two weeks. He was on the floor holding his cheek.

"So you're just going to kill yourself!? Is that it?!" Bobby yelled at him wanting to hit him again. "How could you be so selfish?"

Dean closed his eyes wanting to block out the words but unable to. "Dean.. You're better than this. You're a Winchester and you can survive any-"

"Not this Bobby, not this." Dean said softly.

"And what about us?" Bobby asked. Dean looked down. "Fine, do what you think is right." Bobby grumbled leaving out the room angrily. He knew he shouldn't have left like that or said that, but he couldn't help himself. Dean was being irrational. Ellen looked at Dean, and her hand covered her mouth as she walked quickly out the room tears flowing down her cheeks.

Dean frowned angrily then turned and punched the wall. Why did all these things have to happen to them? Why him? What did he ever do to deserve this? Dean fell back against the wall sliding downward and crying. "Sammy... Please come back to, man. I'm going crazy over here." He laughed bitterly tossing his head back against the wall, tears still flowing.

**-Let the storm rage on,**

**The cold never bothered me anyway,**

**It's funny how some distance,**

**Makes everything seem small-**

The next day he was eating normally again, actually moving, and talking a bit. He still wouldn't leave Sam's room, but it was a start. There was a soft knock at the door followed by Jo entering the room.

"Hey Dean, Can I talk to you?" She asked him.

"Yeah, sure," Dean said.

"Um outside?" Jo asked hesitantly.

"For what it's the same in here as-"

"I mean outside, outside." Jo explained nervously.

"You want me to leave my brother?" Dean asked frowning already.

"It'll just be for a minute, and it looks like you could use some fresh air." Jo looked sympathetically at him.

It was obvious she pitied him, and he didn't like it. But maybe she was right maybe fresh air would give him a fresh idea to save Sam. He looked back at his brother, just as still as ever.. "Fine a minute, then I'm coming right back." Dean said. Jo nodded excitedly leading the way.

"What's going on?" She asked as leans outside on the hospital wall. It's December, and the snow has only gotten worse its three feet deep.

"Sam's in a coma." Dean tells her looking at her like slight annoyed, she should already know.

"I mean in your head, mom said you were think about.. about..." She couldn't say it.

"Killing myself?" Dean finished for her. She wiped away a tear nodding her head. Dean sighed pushing some of the hair out of her face. "Maybe..."

"Don't, please.. I lov- I mean care about you, we all do." She stopped fumbling with her words.

"You were going to say love?" Dean said confused.

She nodded kissing him softly on lips. "Dean, I love you. That's why I never want to do anything with you, because I'm afraid you'll just leave me when we're done."

"I wouldn't leave you, Jo, I could never leave you." Dean whispered grabbing her hands.

"Then why are you thinking about it?" Jo asked looking into his eyes.

He looked away. "Sam.."

Jo turned his head to look at her. "Sam is going to be fine, Dean. I promise." She kissed him once again this time letting his tongue explore her mouth.

**-And the fears that once controlled me,**

**Can't get to me at all,**

**It's time to see what I can do,**

**To test the limits and break through-**

The door to Sam's room opened softly. In walked a young woman in her 20s, she had curly black hair and had on a tight short dress. "Why does everyone want you to live so bad?" She asks, her eyes turning red. "Whatever, not my place to ask." She then taps his forehead his vitals immediately getting better. Her eyes turn back to normal. She turns to walk out the room.

**-No right, No wrong,**

**No rules for me,**

**I'm free..-**

"Dean, just promise me you won't be mad at me," Jo tells him as she leans her forehead against his catching her breath.

"Why would I be mad?" Dean asked.

Jo just smiles at him. "I love you so much, when Sam is feeling up to it come visit me okay." She uses her hand to cup the side of his face.

He closes his eyes and leans into the touch. When she pulls her hand away his eyes open. "How can you be so sure?" How could she be so sure of herself, when he was suicidal with worry that his brother wasn't going to wake up. Doctor after doctor told him it was time to let Sam go, that he was only living because of life support. So how could she be so sure?

Jo just smiles kissing him once again. "I've got to go, and you've got to get back to Sam. I'll see you later, okay?" Then she runs off to her car pulling her jacket closer.

Dean is left standing there confused, but his urge to check on Sam is strong than the one to go see what was wrong with Jo, so he heads up the stairs.

**-Let it go, let it go!**

**And I'll rise like the break of dawn,**

**Let it go, let it go!**

**That perfect girl is gone,-**

Dean is walking up the stairs to Sam's room, and has just turned the corner when a woman who was running bumps into him. He falls from the force of impact, and the woman looks at him angry her eyes turning red. Dean's eyes widen, and she smiles a sick smile. Then she runs down the stairs. Dean runs to Sam's room, could that demon have been in there? Did she do something to his brother? Dean ran as fast as he could worry filling him. He finally reached his brother's room, and his brother was sitting up in bed looking over at him.

"Hey Dean," Sam says with a broad smile. Dean's eyes widen and his jaw drops.

_"...just promise me you won't be mad at me"_

"Jo..." Dean whispers. He can feel tears slip down his cheeks.

"What's wrong, Dean?" Sam asks worried.

**-Here I stand,**

**In the light of day,**

**Let the storm rage on,**

**The cold never bothered me anyway...-**

Sam stood up and walked over to his brother. "You okay, Dean? You looked like you've seen a ghost.. Well you know what I mean." He puts his hand on his brother's shoulder.

Dean pulls him into a hug. "Nothing's wrong ... I was just outside, it was really cold."

"You sure?" Sam asked patting his brother's back.

"Yeah," Dean said hugging his brother tightly, he could feel the tears coming down. He was grateful truly he was, but what she did it was more than he could've asked for, more than he deserved, but she had done it for him.

_"I love you"_

"Thank you..." Dean whispered softly.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Nothing, little brother... Sit down you must be exhausted." He said leading his brother back to the hospital bed.

"Actually you're the one that looked exhausted." Sam told him laughing a little.

"Why don't we both get some sleep, then?" Dean suggested. Sam nodded. Just about as soon as Dean lay down he was out like a light, but for some reason, Sam couldn't understand, he was holding on right to his hand, and when he squeezed back the smile on Dean's face was enormous. Sam could do nothing but smile back.

The End

**(((This story came to me after watching Frozen, and then I thought about the way Jo got killed and decided to put her in there. Well I hope you liked it, Review!)))**

**Idina Menzel : Let It Go**


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